Being a mommy, when you put your kids to bed for the night you get a sense of relief. Relief that you made it through the day, that the kids are safe, that you finally get to relax. Sometimes you can feel a sense of regret. Regret that you were waiting for bed time all day, that you feel relief because you can relax. Being a mommy means having a million different emotions all at once. How many times have you prayed that the kids sleep all night so you can get some sleep? I can’t count how many times I have done that in the past 3 years.
The other night it was thundering and lightning, situations in which I always sleep the best. At 5:30am all I hear is “mommy I need you”. At that moment every emotion left my body and all I felt was fear. Fear that something was wrong, fear that something happened to my baby and I wasn’t there to stop it. But I knew in that moment that my baby needed me and because of that I became the strong and stable mommy and ran to my babies side.
Turns out my three year old was just scared of the storm. I wanted to laugh because of how ridiculous I felt, but my baby was still scared. So I calmed him down and made him feel safe. I let him crawl in bed with daddy, me and our dog Cocoa. He curled up and went to sleep.
It was in that moment I realized that all of the emotions we feel as mommies on a daily basis is ok. It is ok to feel relief, it is ok to feel regret, it is even ok to feel mad or sad. As long as when your babies need you, you feel strong and help them feel safe. Our kids rely on us to help them with their emotions and to make sure they feel safe. To me that is the most important job in the world. My heart is full of love for my kids, and it makes me feel incredible that I can be their safe place.