Today is my youngest son’s 1st birthday party. As I’m sitting here waiting for everyone to show up I got a little sad. My baby is going to be 1 years old in 3 days!!! My oldest is 3 1/2 years old!!!! They are growing so fast and learning so much. I am so proud of them both every single day but when I get the chance to sit and think I get sad. I get sad because they are not my little tiny fragile babies anymore.
They climb on everything they jump off things, they don’t need me for every little thing anymore, and soon they will barely need me at all. That’s really sad to me because it took me so long to become a mommy and I feel like these precious moments are slipping by so fast I can’t hold onto them.
I love these boys with all my heart and soul and I know they love me. I’m their mommy, I’m their safe place. They want me when their sick or when their hurt. The feelings I get when my 3 year old comes to me and says “mommy I need you” or my almost 1 year old crawls over to me to kiss a boo boo, are so wonderful and so hard to explain. Like I want to cry, smile, laugh, sing, everything lol.
My boys will always be my babies but I know when they get older that term will embarrass them, but I will still always tell them that they are my babies. When my boys become teenagers and tell me they hate me or I’ve ruined their lives, I will have to be strong and stand tall. Even though every single ounce of me will be breaking from the inside. My 3 year old tells me I’m mean when I tell him no about something. Even that breaks my heart. I don’t want to be known as the mean mommy. I dont want to ruin their lives. I know they need discipline and they need structure, and I make sure I give those to them. But they are still only 1 and 3 and they are only little for so long. So even though it makes my heart drop I will let them climb on things and jump off things and think they are invincible. If they get hurt mommy will be there to kiss the boo boos and make them all better.
My boys, my babies, my life! I couldn’t have imagined having such great children. I love them to pieces.