Marriage is not what everyone thinks it is. It’s not waking up early every morning to make breakfast and eat together. It’s not cuddling in bed together until both of you peacefully fall asleep. It’s not a clean home and a homemade meal every day. It’s someone who steals all the covers and knees you in the face because the bed is too small for both of you. It’s slammed doors and few harsh words, fights and the silent treatment, it’s wondering if you’ve made the right decision. It is, despite all of those things, the one thing you look forward to every day. It’s coming home to the same person everyday that you know loves and cares about you. It’s laughing about the one time you accidentally did something stupid.
It’s about eating the cheapest and easiest meal you can make and sitting down together at 10pm to eat because you both had a crazy day. It’s when you have an emotional breakdown and your love lays on the floor with you and holds you and tells you everything is going to be okay, and you believe them. It’s when “Netflix and chill” literally means you watch Netflix and hang out. It’s about still loving someone even though they make you absolutely insane.
Living with the person you love is countless fights about absolutely nothing, but is also having a love that people spend their whole life looking for. It’s not perfect and it’s hard, but it’s amazing and comforting and the best thing you’ll ever experience.
Being on my second marriage I know a thing or two about the subject. But I can guarantee that there is still way more to learn.
I was 21 years old the first time I got married. We were young and thought we knew everything. We rushed into marriage because we thought that was the thing to do. I met him while grieving the loss of my grandfather. He was there for me through the whole process. He was my night in shining armor, or bad boy in baggy clothes lol. One month after being together he went to jail, that should have brought up a red flag but sadly at that age I just wanted to be his savior. Four months after we got together we ended up getting married at the courthouse and moved out of state. I thought that would be enough to change him, to settle him down. It wasn’t. He ended up going to prison for a year, I ended up going back home to my mom. We did not see each other that whole year. When he came home we stayed together, tried to work things out. He was in and out of jail and then ended up going back to prison. By this time I realized I could not be his savior, I tried and failed. After 5 years I got a divorce.
During my divorce I ended up getting with my second husband. We actually met as kids, his cousin was one of my best friends. We met again during my divorce and became good friends. He was seeing someone as was I. The guy I was seeing ended up going to jail, go figure. I knew I did not want to deal with that again so I ended it. My now-hubby’s now-ex girlfriend ended up leaving him for someone that got out of prison! He took it pretty hard so I was there for him as a friend because I knew he needed one. We became real close and eventually started dating.
We both have family in North Carolina so a month after we got together we took a trip to visit them. Our first trip together and it was the perfect trip. Just the two of us driving through different states.
Stopping to check out the scenery. North Carolina was awesome and the beaches are so beautiful. For the first time ever I got to walk the beach at night, and I got to do with someone I love. My now-hubby was the most romantic man I have been with in that very moment. Walking the beach in the moonlight hand in hand he stops, gets on one knee and purposes. Yes! He really did! Of course I said yes!!
He had also been married once before at the courthouse and ended the same as mine. So this time we were determined to do it right. We set the date for exactly one year from the day we got together. I planned our whole wedding myself, from the colors all the way to the decorations. When that day came nothing really went as planned but it was still beautiful and it was still our day. I became a step mommy and a wife to someone who loved me for me and did all he could to show that.
This year we will be married for 6 years. Trust me when I tell you that it has not been easy. We have screamed, yelled, cried, threw things, thought about giving up, but we never did. We have also hugged, kissed, laughed, loved, and brought more lives into this world together.
We are not perfect, our marriage is not perfect, but when it comes down to it we are there for each other, we love each other, and we will do anything for each other. We are perfect for each other. We do crazy things together, like dress up as Santa and Mrs Clause for Christmas pictures.
We chase each other through the house and have tickle fights. When we have the time we lay on the couch and watch movies together.
Being married is not easy, but when the good outweighs the bad than it is well worth it. God knew what he was doing when he put us together. I’ve had 5 miscarriages from a couple different men. But hubby and I have been blessed with two handsome, adorable little boys of our own together. He has made me a mommy, we have made a life together, we have made a home together. We may not be where we want to be in life but as long as we have each other we know we can handle anything life throws at us.
He’s my love, he’s my madness, he’s my rock, he’s everything I want.
If you are thinking about getting married, remember this, it will not always be easy, sometimes you will feel like you want to give up. You may scream and shout and even cry. But when it’s all said and done go back to the moment you got married or the moment you realized you loved them and remember why. Remember people change, situations change, but love does not have to change, sometimes it just needs to be adjusted to fit into the new situations. Stay strong, work together not against each other.